What does it mean to feel “fat”.  I’ve heard many people tell me they feel fat when in fact they look healthy.  In terms of underweight/normal/overweight your Body Mass Index (BMI) is frequently referenced to determine and quantify and individual’s relative size based on mass and height.  With diet and exercise these numbers do fluctuate over time, but generally don’t vary day to day or minute to minute.

i-feel-fatSpeaking from my own personal experience I generally “feel fat” when I don’t “feel good” about myself.  In the past I addressed that state by partaking in some physical activity that I enjoy.  Generally speaking, immediately after exercise I no longer have the same feelings I did prior.  I almost always feel better about myself even though I look exactly the same.

After years of experiencing this pattern of self deprecation and exoneration I saw the cycle itself as something I wanted to let go of.  I felt like a hamster on a wheel and wanted to pare my life down to the fundamentals and step off the unending treadmill to nowhere.  I started to realize that, in general, I looked the same day to day & I was happy with how I looked.  So when thoughts of inadequacy crept up I was able to shrug them off as the figments of my imagination they truly were.

When I find myself projecting my internal feelings onto my external body I try to take note right when that happens.  I take a moment to think about what I just said or thought and then ask myself what is it that I’m really feeling because “feeling fat” is my mind’s way of projecting it’s internal formless state on to my physical being.  My physical being does not change dramatically moment to moment or day to day so feeling fat one day, minute, or hour and not the next means that something deeper is going on behind the curtain.